What You See Is What You Will Be

Before the COVID-19 pandemic, as I rode across campus on my scooter, I passed in front of a group of young women coming out of one of the dorm buildings. The women began pointing and looking at me; one even tugged at the beanie of another to get her to look in my direction. As I passed them, a woman with long shiny hair at the front of the pack said to me: “You go girl! Look at you!” 

This didn’t feel anything close to what we believe (nay–know) in our hearts Rocky Balboa felt running through the streets of Philadelphia. I didn’t feel as though this young woman was saying, “Damn girl you’re killin’ it” so much as she was saying, “Damn girl you’re old as **** but you can still ride a scooter!” 

Two important points: 

1. I’m 63. 

2. Just about anyone over the age of seven with the use of their legs could ride my scooter.

At Vintage Days, I almost bought a sea turtle anklet from a guy who said to me “Well it’s good to see people like you still out there having fun!” People like me? 

Once, in a bathroom in the Henry Madden Library, a woman (maybe in her late 20s) stood next to me as we both washed our hands. My scooter was leaning on the wall under the paper towel dispenser. I watched in the mirror as she looked back and forth between my scooter and me.  When I caught her eye she shook her head and said, “Well if YOU can ride one of those I KNOW I can!” then tossed her wet paper towel in the garbage can and walked out. 

“I’m not an amputee, for god’s sake!” I said to the closing door. 

More important points: 

           3. I have two legs and two arms in working order. 

           4. I can still see out of my eyeballs. 

What other group of people could you say this to? You probably wouldn’t say it to an obese person, because that would be mean. Right? And presumptuous. Sometimes heavy people move a lot faster than you think they would. And so it is with those of us who have just continued to live, who have had the audacity to not die and just keep getting older. We might have aged, but we are still us. We can still do stuff.

It’s a curious thing, this getting older business; it often reveals a way of being othered that has a slow and simultaneously fast onset. Aging takes time, but then, seemingly all of a sudden, we are there. And people begin to expect (or not expect) certain things from you. It’s particularly noticeable if you are in an environment where most everyone is younger than you–like if you are a student on a college campus, for instance. 

I started wondering how many older grad students we have here at Fresno State, but since your date of birth is not information that PeopleSoft requires, there isn’t a way to get those demographics. But I did find some data from the National Center for Education Statistics (NCES). Their 2017 study reported that 39% of grad students (at private for-profit institutions) in the United States were 40 and over, which in a classroom would break down to 12 students out of 30. Graduate courses, which tend to have fewer students enrolled in each class, might look more like five students over 40 in a class of 15. 

69 year old kiteboarder (click for story) 

Percentage of Post Baccalaureate Students in U.S. 

In fall 2017, some 49 percent of all postbaccalaureate (graduate) students attended public institutions, 43 percent attended private nonprofit institutions, and 9 percent attended private for-profit institutions. The majority of full-time graduate students at public institutions were under age 30 (37 percent were under age 25 and 37 percent were ages 25 to 29); the same was true at private nonprofit institutions, where 32 percent were under age 25 and 37 percent were ages 25 to 29. In contrast, the majority of full-time graduate students at private for-profit institutions were older: 33 percent were ages 30 to 39 and 39 percent were ages 40 and over. Among part-time graduate students, 80 percent of students at private for-profit institutions were ages 30 and over, as were 62 percent at private nonprofit institutions and 59 percent at public institutions. (https://nces.ed.gov/programs/coe/indicator_csb.asp)

While I have lots of opinions and feelings about being an older student–most of them positive–I am more interested in how other people feel about their experience, so I asked around. In an online poll of grad students over 40, I asked questions, and I got answers. 

The people I heard from returned to school for any number of reasons: 

✦”To pursue a retirement in publishing facilitated by an MFA in creative writing”

✦”Found a subject worth going through the pain of attaining a master’s degree”

✦”To become a graphic artist”

✦”To develop a community benefit business plan”

✦”To gain new skills teaching literature in high school, move over on the pay scale, open up opportunities to teach at the collegiate level”

When asked about the challenges of being an older student, their reasons were also varied: 

✦”Time to read/research/write while caring for two kids, teaching full time, grading essays”

✦”Time management”

✦”Memory loss”

✦”The groove of student life”

✦”Child care issues”

✦”Balancing a full time job and family (including a new baby) with grad school.”

✦”Amount of required reading and remembering”

✦”On a few occasions professors were not particularly receptive to older students”

✦”Not tech savvy”

✦”People (students, teachers) having preconceived notions about older students”

What are some of the advantages of being an older student? Here are some responses that stood out to me: 

✦”Maturity is an advantage. I appreciate being here, and I do all of the work on time to the best of my ability. This wasn’t the case when I was younger, even when I was a relatively older student in my early 30s.”

✦”I am wiser”

✦”Persistence”

✦”Maturity”

✦”The ability to rise above challenges”

✦”I have lived a life”

✦”I have more experience/experiences that have made me a people person.”

✦”Perspective”

✦”Having my daughter see me graduate”

✦”Having more credibility with faculty and administration”

✦”I have fewer f***s to give (if that’s a legitimate advantage)” [author’s note: It is.] 

Perhaps my favorite responses were given to the following question: “What would you want your younger classmates to know?”

✦”I appreciate your energy and new-century perspectives”

✦”If something is your passion, it’s worth pursuing”

✦”It doesn’t get easier to go through the academic process. But if you aren’t ready for that grind, it is better to wait until you are”

✦”To keep on a path of their passion (heart); we tend to forget our dreams because of life, though our passion is something we’re born with.”

✦”College is mostly jumping through hoops and cutting through red tape. Don’t let them discourage you from finishing.”

✦”There really is wisdom with age”

✦”To savor the opportunity to be in school. To always be a life-long learner and to follow their dreams, not a paycheck, although having both is very cool.”

✦”I would want to encourage them to keep going without taking breaks. A gap year can quickly turn into a decade. I would also encourage them to take every assignment seriously and to show up to all of their classes.”

✦”Do what you love. Follow your passions. While a trite, hackneyed cliche, don’t chase after hollow letters after your name or arbitrary letters on a transcript — they don’t matter.”

✦”Pay attention!”

When my grandfather was 97 years old, he tore his aorta trying to see how many times he could run around the barn with his dog, Bo. He died a few days later dancing with a pretty young nurse in his hospital room. He was a stubborn old Italian, who–despite his age–was really quite young at heart. Once when I called him “old man,” he looked at me and said, “What you see is what you will be.” I joked with him and said, “A bald old man?!” 

But I have never forgotten what he said because it is full of truth. The next time you encounter an older person, and find you don’t have much patience or empathy for them, perhaps remember that you–if you are fortunate–will be old one day, too.   

By Jamie Barker